October 04, 2005 at 6:51 PM

The dealbreaker. Month Three women look for the dealbreaker. The thing about you and your life that she can either:

1. Change
2. Have to accept, or
3. Have to get out.

If you live with your parents, that becomes an issue in month three. Basically after three months of courting/fun the honeymoon is over and either she’s realizing nice guy, doesn’t have it together or too immature or I need to help him, or I don’t think I’ll be able to love him.

After three months, girls are going to get the question from other girls "Do you love him." And in answering that, your future lies young padwon.
No relationship is perfect and I believe that the first rough patch starts around month three. Flaws will be revealed, and tough questions will be asked. If you make it through that, she’s going to bond to you and it’s officially a relationship that she will remember. A two week guy she dumped? Nope, 3 months and you are eternal, even if just a footnote.

Gump

There were flaws, but nothing I wasn't willing to work through.

There were some tough days when I thought that it just wasn't enough, but then came those moments that made it all worthwhile.

I got the I just want to be friends speech last night. Probably the most exciting time of my life. If you don't recognize that as sarcasm, then you obviously don't know me. And if you do see it, then you know that I'm trying to cover up how much I'm hurt.

I don't know, I guess he just wasn't mature enough to handle what we had; the moment everything wasn't sunshine and happiness, he started getting shifty-eyed.

I told him two weeks ago when this all started that in the end, he was just going to end up leaving me, and he insisted that he would never leave me. Well guess what, buddy? You're a liar. You knew that this was coming, you just wanted to let me down gently. Just so that you know, once a girl has fallen in love with a guy, once she has given him a part of her that she can never really get back, it's way too late for gentle. You either drop her or you don't. And I've been dropped, from a great height.

Guys are dicks. They're all the same. Of course, that's not entirely true. They're either dicks, or gay. So I guess the only answer is to become a lesbian, because that's the only way life will be able to continue without broken bones and a shattered heart.

All morning hidden tears have been shed, flowing unnoticed down my cheeks. But no blood has seeped through my skin. Not this time. Because no matter how stupid I might sound, no matter how naïve I may be, I want him. He won't take me the way I love myself, scarred and broken; but if he'll take me at all, I'll do whatever the job description entails.

I feel like I did that night three months ago now, although it seems like forever has passed since I found out. I want to go back to Croft and get drunk on that hill, just like we did to ease our minds, mourning the loss of a friend. Only this time, there will be no mourning.

I will not sit and cry about this for any longer than absolutely necessary. I have friends, and I will not let them sit around and cry about me the way they did last year. I have Joey, who knows everything about me, every time I'm upset, he just knows, don't ask how. I love every minute I spend with him, and the earrings he made for me, I haven't taken off yet. I'm in love with them.

Calling Jeshua last night right after I got off the phone with Andrew, was the best decision I've made in the past few weeks. Just hearing his voice made me feel better, and he tried as hard as he could to let me know that he cares, and that I've got amazing friends [of whom he's the serious one ... yeah ...] and that I don't need any old Blackville trash to make me happy.

I really do have the best friends.

It took too long to understand why we both kept trying to come together, when each time, each heartbreak, hurt more than the last. And at the end, it was a little book called He's Just Not That Into You. I must have read it four times. In a row. And I sat back and shook my head. I am not broken, I do not need to be fixed, and there is nothing I can change that will make us work. I know why, and why not, and was finally able to walk away.

There have been so many times when I would have given up everything to be with you. What I understand now is that it is exactly what I would have given up - everything. And that's not the way it should work. You shouldn't have to give up anything for love.

nicim

I'm sorry it didn't work out. But won't waste time being sorry that it's over.

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